Holding Space

Originally posted April 13, 2022

“Holding space” is a term that inspires me. It means to be present with someone, without judgment. Like unconditional love, it’s as simple as it is beautiful. It just means to love. Not to fix them. Not to tell them they’re wrong. Just to love them.

The past five years have brought changes to my spiritual growth. They’ve been gradual, but at some point, I became willing to acknowledge that many of the things I’d been taught growing up do not align with my personal values. In fact, they became impossible to ignore or set aside. They are simply not who I am anymore. I’m following a path that’s authentic to me, and it gives me peace and contentment.

Forging my own path hasn’t been the hardest thing I’ve done. Letting go of fear has been the hardest thing. It turns out, listening to my intuition has come quite naturally, but the thought of disappointing others has been far more difficult to reconcile. Part of this unraveling has been learning to do what’s best for me, despite others’ approval or disapproval.

Bob and I have faced this together, and he has proven once again what a gem he is. He has held space for me and shown me that two people can disagree in profound ways and still show each other the highest respect and love. Through this, we’ve discovered that we do agree on our essential core values. There have been some bumps, but I believe we’re stronger now because of this.

Every spiritual path is personal, as it should be. We’re all learning different lessons—big and small—along the way. Can we hold space for each other in a world that places such a high value on being right? Can we love without conditions? I may fall short at times, but I’m willing to try.

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The #1 regret of the dying:

"I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."