To Curse or Not to Curse? Why I Added Mild* Swearing to My Book

Some people may have been surprised at the inclusion of swearing in my book, while others may have not paid much attention to it at all. Wherever you fall on that scale, I’m happy to address why I—who surely knows better—would add pejoratives to my book. And to those who haven’t read it yet, well, I suppose this is your warning. :)

Please note that this is not a persuasive piece: Everyone has their own threshold level of swearing they’re comfortable with in the books they read. *One person’s mild is another person’s hog wild. This essay is not to break that down, shame anyone for their preferences, or declare any position superior. It’s simply to express my own reasoning. Even if you disagree with me, my hope is that you’ll find greater understanding in my motivations.

Speaking of thresholds, I arrived at mine through my life experience and exposure. Even my conservative university offered me a surprisingly liberal education when it comes to literature. During my time there, the full breadth of the human experience was offered in our classroom discussions and in our anthologies. Each professor had different levels of progressivism, of course, but in many of my classes, my worldview was blown wide open. As I look back, I’m proud of the English department for their approach, and I’m proud of the education I received. 

To cheekily quote Shakespeare’s The Tempest, the wild child Caliban says,

“You taught me language, and my profit on’t

Is I know how to curse.”

So if I’m a ruffian like Caliban, I arrived there honestly.

Swearing was prohibited in my home of origin, as in many Mormon households. (Although I recall my across-the-street-neighbors-you-know-who-you-are peppering their language a little more than we did at my place.)

In fact, so shameful was the practice of openly swearing in my home, that I can never forget my first documented swear word. My family knows exactly the story I’m about to tell, because even though my Dad scolded me for it at the time, he went on to gleefully tell the story whenever it found its way into conversation. And it always garnered laughs.

Our family was gathered, kneeling for nightly prayer when I—the youngest of ten—noticed my brother Joe was missing. Ah! This would be the perfect chance to try out a phrase I’d heard on the TV show M*A*S*H. Just before the prayer began, with everyone’s attention, I blurted, “Where the hell is Joe?”

After a few beats of horrified stares all around, my dad launched into the aforementioned stern talking-to. I don't remember crying, but I probably did. I do, however, remember the utter shame. But I can't blame my dad. With such a teachable moment at hand, he had to make an example of me. And I don’t blame myself either. How could I have known it was a swear word?

Annnnnnd that story followed me my whole life. What I must’ve learned, for good or ill, was that if the most decent, honest man I knew could tell and retell that story, then swearing was a no-no most of the time, but also there were times when it wasn’t.

With that in mind, here are three reasons I’ve gone rogue and added swearing to my book.

1. Authenticity and Characterization.

Each character has his or her own voice. Thankfully, the feedback has so far been that my characters’ voices are strong, which makes me happy. They each speak in a manner authentic to their personality, education, and predilection. In most cases, the rougher the character, the rougher the language.

The two most discernable elements in characterization are the clothes one wears and the way one speaks. Consciously or unconsciously, humans choose a persona they want the world to see, and book characters are no different.

For example, I have a scene when Charlie, a rougher character, is upset at another character for challenging the results of a qualifying race. Folks are gathered around watching this exchange.

“What’s wrong, Tidwell?” Charlie went on. “Ain’t you had your morning constitutional?”

“Mr. Rye, there’s no need for crassness,” Mr. Ellerby said, “ladies present and all.”

“Oh, pardon. Ain’t you had your morning s**t?”

I grappled with it, though, knowing that the S-word would be crossing a line into the “words not found in the Bible” category. (I feel I should mention there are no F-words in the text.) Ultimately, I found it illustrative to Charlie’s character. When challenged, Charlie aims to get a rise out of people. When pushed further, he lets it fly. Plus, I imagined the Ellerby girls’ faces turning bright red, and I had to keep it.

2. The Right Word in the Right Moment.

I’m a proponent of “a time and a place.” I’d venture to say most people are. Because swear words create an emotional response, the overuse of them can dilute their power. When my characters use certain words, I want them to pack a punch, but I don’t want to throw too many. I’m not going for an onslaught. Merely a few sucker punches at moments of emotional impact.

Benjamin Bergen, professor of Cognitive Science, says, “Profane language has a direct line to our emotions. They are a spontaneous reflection of strong emotional states, like anger, fear or passion.”

Not all of the emotional moments in my book include cussing, of course. And lest I be accused of lazy, unimaginative writing, I scoured through several US 19th century tomes to find non-offensive exclamations. And I found so many good ones:

Mercy!

Bless me!

Laws!

I declare!

Curses!

Blazing stars/blazes!

Upon my word!

Shame’s sake!

What the devil/who the devil!

By Jupiter!

The insults weren’t bad either:

Little cuss, wretch, monster, imp, scamp, brute, rascal, rowdy, rat, rattlebrain, minx, she-devil. And so on.

As fun as it was to add these to my text, sometimes the best word for the job was the word itself. What if Rhett had said to Scarlet, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a hoot”?

3. Real-life Representation in Books

Mine is a book for teens. Adults are enjoying it, too, and I’m pleased about that. I agree with C.S. Lewis: “A children’s story that can only be enjoyed by children is not a good children’s story in the slightest.” I’m so glad there’s crossover. But my book was written with teens in mind. Their literature should offer a realistic representation of their day-to-day experience. This may include language that can be considered offensive. Not just the language, but the themes teens deal with are generally more intense as well.

 Dr. Rudine Sims Bishop, author and children's literature scholar says, "Literature transforms human experience and reflects it back to us, and in that reflection we can see our own lives and experiences as part of a larger human experience. Reading, then, becomes a means of self-affirmation, and readers often seek their mirrors in books."

This author was primarily referring to racial issues, but the quote applies here, too. Teens can grapple with weightier topics in their books, because as they approach adulthood, the themes they naturally encounter are more mature. They are learning what they can handle, and the mirror effect can be good for them.

There they are. Those are my reasons three. I know there will be some who don’t appreciate the cursing in my book, but I hope the messages shine through regardless. My goal was to write the most authentic book I could, true to the writer I am.

Perhaps the most controversial take in this essay is that I don't mind and even appreciate a bit of cussing in the books I read. I feel that in the right context it enhances the work. I'm right there with the characters, taking my emotional sucker punches.

Now I’ve officially added my voice to the cacophony that is this debate. And I assure you, it wages on. But the good news goes back to my initial point that each reader gets to decide where they're comfortable and the role of books in their life, and that is a beautiful thing.

For the record, nobody ever told me where the hell Joe was that night. Where the hell were you, Joe?